A Sad Howl into the Bleak Night
One tries to rely on others when chronically ill, but no one can hold it together enough to fully help. And often is the case, which it is for me, people begin to step back & walk away. Not just because we are demanding, but because most people DO want to help. When their efforts don't correct the problem & make us right, they can't handle a prolonged commitment. Our society teaches us to be goal orientated, so we're supposed to get better no matter what the situation. This leaves us, who are helpless or needing of help, alone to deal with the immensity of our conditions alone. I image that is better than them holding on to become grouchy or even mean, turning that frustration on us.
This image by Teresa Burritt illustrates my perspective aptly.
(Frog Applause by Teresa Burritt 03.06.19)
Labels: Chronic Illness, Frog Applause
posted by jimmy scoville at 9:06 PM
1 Comments:
I've been dealing w/chronic health problems that have steadily worsened. My attitude & my determination to press onwards have always given me the opportunity to not let it deter me. I've always been able to enjoy the rays of sunshine between the clouds. for the most part & I've gotten by & through.
What I've noticed during the progression of my health problems is that frustration you've written about. That, both with myself & others with me, which happens when you're on the needing help side of the fence.
It is a lonely experience to "deal with the immensity of our conditions alone". It is painful to feel as if you've been abandoned.
It certainly hasn't made me feel any joy. I feel hurt and sometimes I feel angry. I too have come to understand your awareness of people who "can't handle a prolonged commitment" to you. They flee like a hit & run driver.
I guess one of the positive things to come out of all of this has been a clarity beyond my emotions. I've a little more gratitude for whatever support does come my way. I'm also at the point of little expectations from others. Not giving up on people. Just not spending precious energies on reaching out to those who keep pulling away. My arms can only reach so far.
Let them embrace those who are willing to support me in a positive way. Be it a little or a lot.
5:38 PM
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