Out to Lunch: Another Temporal Lobe Seizure

While meditating today, I reached a familiar sensation of arriving in a moment that had happened before (entirely Déjà vu), a reflection of memory or even prophesy (stretching from back, forward to this uneven now) at the end of my daily quieting pattern when my head utterly imploded in another Temporal lobe seizure as I felt hyperspace rush throughout this lonesome form until the regular overheating commenced & I knew I was leveling out to where some might call “coming back” to myself after an internal storm - this while torrential downpours continued to rage outdoors.

It was an old fashion kind of lower leveled seizure with the expected side effects affecting me to the very reality of my existence. Often lately they are fractured, not providing the euphoria afterwards, which I appreciate following such a hard time.

Still hot as I tap this, I lean into frame to find an awkward smile, a doubtful wondering whether it was a lone striker or will soon be joined by a fistful of coconspirators… I don’t know…

It launched roughly at 4:55 PM as Eric Dolphy’s ‘Out to Lunch!’ provided the jazz soundtrack to the meditation & my littlest dog licked the air behind me while resting on her bedding. I was almost out of the session, almost to shaking the final bells… “Almost” is such a silly adjustment, a weird word coming from where we expected, while not quite yet being to the ending.

How do I feel? I am these seizures unloosening my normalcy, rearranging what it is to be human in this wayward society sagging beneath the promises of modern technology & consumerism, remaking me into a fragmented, weary, idea of myself.

Really, how am I? I don’t know. I know less than nothingness when overrun, overwhelmed, made humble by whirl of electric short-circuiting in this neurological absurdity when malfunctioning becomes my only true function…

Putting up the sign: WILL BE BACK SOON. There is only the external storm right now as I wait for more.

Migraineur Out.

(Art © 2013 j. m. Scoville)